Please Stop Asking Writers This One Question

Plus Real Simple opps, missing the Hamptons and how to work with me.

I’m back!!!! Did you miss me? Well, I know one thing for sure—I MISS THE HAMPTONS!!!! Last night, my husband said, “Did you read Page Six? This is going to make you really upset…”

Who doesn’t love a convo that starts like that?

Yes, I know I missed the Jelly Roll private concert in Amagansett. (Did you think I wasn’t a country music fan? Surprise, I am!) I’m watching clips on YouTube as I type this and experiencing the worst FOMO of my life. We’re usually away for 8 to 10 weeks, but we only did five this year due to several factors I can’t get into—though everything is fine.

Yes, I know this is a major first-world problem. I feel lucky to be able to go at all. But I’m definitely in my “over L.A., but I still live here” era. I can’t wait until my daughter is a little older so I can take her to New York a few times a year.

Also, I just posted a before-and-after of her Hamptons nursery on Instagram, and it’s really pretty. I’m going to post more stills at some point today (hopefully).

No, I Don’t Know When This Will Publish

The only thing driving me crazier than Hamptons FOMO is this question: 

DO YOU KNOW WHEN THAT ARTICLE IS GOING LIVE?

PLEASE JUST STOP!!!!!! PLEASE THINK BEFORE YOU ASK!!!!

Someone I’ve featured in several articles texted me this the other week. It wasn’t a publicist but a design-adjacent individual who had my number through a mutual friend.

I WANTED TO THROW MY PHONE IN THE RIVER!

(I DON’T KNOW WHICH RIVER. BUT AT THAT POINT, I WOULD HAVE SETTLED FOR ANY LOCAL RIVER.)

I politely told this person I write about 30 articles a month (which is a lot but not even that much—I think I had 40-something due the month my daughter was born). I can’t keep track of things. I rarely tell anyone when an article goes live unless it’s a big feature for Forbes or your client is famous or has hundreds of thousands of followers. (There are exceptions, of course, but for the most part….)

So I ask…

DO YOU NOT HAVE GOOGLE ALERTS SET UP?

People ask me when articles are going live all of the time. Asking me by email is one thing and while I don’t LOVE that, I get you are doing your job. But the text is next-level cringe. 

It’s also different if we’re actual IRL friends who met through work, we’re good work friends, or I’ve given you my phone number because I like you and my inbox is a hot mess. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Also, if we’ve been working on something important together—I won’t get annoyed with you.

But here’s the thing…

I have very little control over when something goes live, except for Forbes, where contributors have CMS access. I’m also uncomfortable asking my editors because they’re probably asked this same question by 100 people a day. I don’t want to bother them.

90 percent of my articles likely get posted within a few weeks of submission, and often much sooner. But I’ve also had editors hold back an article for months—sometimes over a year. And yes, I invoiced those articles and was paid.

AND I GET THAT IT SUCKS FOR YOU AND YOUR CLIENT…BUT THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT!!!!

Here’s what you can do instead of asking when something goes live. This applies not just to me but to any writer you pitch:

• SET UP GOOGLE ALERTS (I already said this, but I cannot emphasize this enough.)

• Check their author page. Here are links to two of mine:
  Forbes
  Real Simple

• Search the actual site.

• Do a site search through Google.

• Make yourself a Ranch Water and cry.

You’re welcome.

A Bunch Of Plugs For Myself

(Or skip to the opps, I don’t care)

Want more? Just starting? Need extra help? Here’s a shameless plug for additional PR services I offer. 

(IF NOT, SCROLL DOWN TO A VERY HOT PR TAKE)

I have a course called Pitch Please. It’s helpful, it’s entertaining and it can change your business forever. (It has and it will). 

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On a budget? Download this $47 pitch template. It’s really helpful.   

Want to chat online? (I promise I’m almost done), book me on Intro for media relations and interior design help. 

If you’re a publicist and you want do something bigger like a lunch and learn, email me. AmandaLauren212@gmail.com

Here’s what I’m working on for Real Simple:

Please email me with the topic and the word Substack in the subject line.

Need by Wednesday, 8/21, 9:00 AM PST:
Home Items You Should Always Buy During Labor Day Sales
Would love to hear from designers….

Need by Thursday, 8/22, 9:00 AM PST:
Plants You Didn’t Know You Could Grow Indoors
What plants can you grow indoors that most people think are outdoor plants? Any advice for growing them?

Need by Friday, 8/22, 9:00 AM PST:
This Is Why Your Bathroom Looks Dated
I can think of a few ideas myself like: you have a fuzzy bathroom rug (vomit, what is wrong with you), you have wood tile (don’t even get me started on wood tile), or you have dark wood cabinetry. Would love some thoughts from designers.

Need by Friday, 8/22, 9:00 AM PST:
Habits to Become a Neater Person If You’re Naturally Messy
Would love to hear from pro organizers…